Today mark the last day of my work in my company. Last Friday, I had negotiated a commercial deal with my client. Today my managing director asked us to run through the costing spreadsheet and amended the deal to mobilisation and demobilisation of vessel in Batam at USD XX k, Standby Alongside Rate in Singapore at USD XX k/day. I told the client that these are the numbers and we cannot change them accordingly. The client told me,” Can we onhire after clearance from Batam and offhire before clearance into Batam?” This will impact USD 3k maximum for what I am giving away when compared to the contract value of USD 3m which I am getting the Letter of Intention for.
My managing director questioned why am I changing the deal and giving away the clearance fees without seeking approval from him. I told him that I am just giving in a small amount to close the deal. I said,” I touched my heart and this is to best situation for the company.” He told me,” This is not the best commercial outcome for company. I cannot work with you anymore. This is not good for you and not good for me. Today is your last day.”
For a split second, my holy spirit/ instinct/ gut feeling told me that this is the best situation for me and I should stand firm. When I think about the emergency fund I am building, it will be good if I can work a few more months while I take my CMFAS exams while being paid. I dropped my ego and asked,”Sorry boss, can give me one more chance.” He said,” No, today’s your last day. You go and sort out with HR, I will not own you any monies.” I said ok and stepped out of his office.
Later on, I learnt that his son-in-law is going to join the company and both of them will be based in Kuala Lumpur starting next year. This is a conspiracy to remove me and put him in power. He needs an excuse to remove me. He does not need someone who can bring business but a bunch of yes man. Sorry, I will not be that yes man.
I ask myself why for both years I was let go before Christmas? I felt ashamed to face my family. History does repeat itself. There seems to be this vicious cycle of me being too aggressive, loud spoken and defy authorities.
Aggressive – I go all out to win business and make things happen.
Loud spoken – I believe in expressing my thoughts and what I have in my vision
Defy authorities – I believe in giving constructive feedback even if you are the boss. I had worked with two old business men and they did not like to listen to the truth. Are SME bosses the same? That is generalisation.
I try to console myself that “this too shall pass”. When one door closes, another opens.